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by Kim Carroll
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[Editor's note: Kim Carroll is a Japanese American and was one of two Asian American delegates from Texas to the 1992 Democratic National Convention. She is a civil engineer with the Texas Department of Transportation.]
Three things have long attracted me--the beauty of art, truth, and nature. Until a few months ago, I had devoted much of my time to music, while ignoring the world at large. In doing so, I was ignoring a very basic truth--the truth that we are all responsible for our societal conditions and environment. For the past few years my conscience has been prodding me to do something to help. I kept pushing it aside, until I heard former Governor Edmund G. Brown, Jr. speak. Shortly before the Super Tuesday primaries, I happened to hear Governor Brown debating the other candidates on television. His statements were riveting, courageous, and inspiring. Here was a man who had decided to stand up for truth and, against all odds, to offer to lead the country back to democracy. He was not speaking with words only, but with his actions, following those very principles we all cherish and want so desperately to put back into our government. The sense of urgency was very strong. I no longer wanted an excuse to stay out of it. I wanted to be part of the effort. Before this year I had never participated in any caucuses. Knowing little about the political process, I suddenly found myself advancing from level to level, from precinct to district to state and, amazingly, to national. At each convention, some luck of circumstances carried me along. It almost seemed as if it were meant to be, like a miracle. It started so spontaneously. I simply voted in the primary and accepted an invitation to attend the precinct caucus held that evening. So few participated, allowing everyone who showed, to advance to the senatorial district convention. The morning of the district convention, I walked into the auditorium, startled to find there were no signs for Brown. I rushed out and returned with posterboard from the nearest grocer. As I placed my first handmade sign against a desk, other Brown supporters were drawn to it like a magnet. Soon, I had enough help to make and post all we needed. When the convention got underway, the auditorium was filled with Brown signs. We grouped by precinct to select one floor delegate to represent us at state. I didn't believe I had a chance, knowing I was the only Brown delegate from my precinct. By a twist of fate, the no-shows allowed a write-in delegate to give me the majority. This delegate was, unexpectedly, a Brown supporter. That day I met several other Brown supporters and decided we should get organized. My involvement in the campaign rapidly grew from that day forward. | 
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The district convention had given me my first taste of official proceedings. I realized there was a lot to learn. Shortly afterward, I began a detailed study of the rules. Without knowledge of them, it would have been difficult to actively participate or protect ourselves against violations.
I quickly learned the importance of state committees and realized we would need to win some of the posts in order to have an impact. Knowing the Brown delegation did not have the numbers to win any on their own, I approached the Tsongas leadership of District 16. They were willing to be inclusive. It was agreed by all camps that a Brown delegate would fill one of the seven committee positions. This represented our percentage of the total. I was satisfied with the outcome and honored later to be nominated by my fellow Brown supporters to run for the State Rules Committee position.
In selecting the Rules Committee, our goal was to eliminate the 15% threshold rule. This rule denied representation for groups with less than fifteen percent of the total delegation. Everyone should be entitled to representation in a democracy. Convenience and efficiency by elimination are not reason enough to justify the hypocrisy of maintaining a threshold. It was gratifying to see, in our district at least, many people were coming to the same realization, not only among Brown supporters, but among the uncommitted, Tsongas, and Clinton supporters as well.
At the state convention, my position was formally accepted by the delegation from District 16. I prepared two amendments for presentation before the Rules Committee. One was designed to eliminate thresholds from all aspects of the Texas delegate selection process, the other to set a precedent for amending the national rules. Though I did not win over a majority of the committee, I had enough support to request a minority report for a vote of the issues on the convention floor.
Going into the state convention, Brown supporters had secured only two National Convention delegates, both from Austin. With only 9% of the total state delegation, we had no expectations of gaining any at-large national delegates. Though attempts were made to coordinate with Tsongas leaders to reach the threshold, they declined, believing they had enough on their own. As it turned out, they fell short of the 15% mark by one tenth of a percent. It seemed the Clinton campaign would capture all at-large national delegates.
However, our state convention coordinator for the Brown delegation discovered District 6 had conducted an invalid sign-in. The matter was brought before Bob Slagle, the state chair. Within minutes, an attorney, and fellow Brown supporter, prepared a credentials challenge ready to carry to the national convention in the event there was any trouble in settling the dispute. Fortunately, Mr. Slagle agreed to allow the re-signing of District 6.
Our convention coordinator made arrangements with the Tsongas leadership to offer them the support of all our Brown delegates from District 6 to clear the threshold, in exchange for a share of the national delegates they would receive. The effort was a success, providing six national delegates, which were split between the Tsongas and Brown camps, four and two, respectively.
Meanwhile, the rules report was the first on the convention schedule. As I walked onto the platform to argue for the minority report, I felt very much at ease. Somehow, telling people the truth about the injustice of the current rules had a calming effect on me. During the ensuing open floor discussion, several supporters stepped forward to re-emphasize the importance of its passage. Despite our efforts, the amendments were not passed. The standing vote appeared to be a forty to sixty percent split against them. Though disappointed in the loss, I was satisfied that the democratic process had allowed us to voice our views on the rules. I felt confident our numbers would grow in time, enough to right the wrong.
About midafternoon, Brown's state convention coordinator and a few other supporters approached me. Her face was lit up, as she congratulated me for being selected as one of the national delegates for Brown. I was thrilled in disbelief that it had actually happened. I felt an enormous gratitude toward her and all the Brown supporters for giving me the honor of representing them.
Prior to the national convention, I received an invitation to meet for lunch in Houston with Governor Brown and his other national delegates from Texas. It was scheduled in conjunction with his arrival to address the Mayors' Conference. As it turned out, the luncheon was canceled at the last minute. However, I had already arrived. I decided to try to meet some of the supporters at the conference.
Luckily, I ran into our State Campaign Coordinator, Robert Jones. He told me I had just missed Governor Brown's speech. He invited me to join him in meeting Brown at a housing project, along with local media. There an entourage of supporters, interested bystanders, and media followed Brown's every move and word as we took a tour of the different units, some renovated, some run down. Listening to the story of the local government's fight to tear them down to build condos, while ample HUD money was available to restore them, it was difficult to understand how such 'cut-throat' decisions could be made in the face of the people we had come to see.
The problem of homelessness really hit me in Houston within hours of being there. On my way to the conference, stopped at a traffic light, I witnessed a police officer call in a homeless person, with ragged clothes, sunken cheeks, blank stare, sitting in the meek shelter of a bus stop, stone dead. How can a 'democratic' government, a 'humane' society such as ours ignore this problem? Governor Brown was reiterating this question out loud, adding to it the senselessness of building new structures, when real estate is not selling.
Finally, the media had asked their last questions. We piled into a Blazer, where I was reintroduced to Governor Brown. He was full of questions, probing my background, profession, and interests. I noticed he had a sincere interest in people and their views.
A temporary office was set up for Governor Brown's use. We had barely arrived and he was already receiving faxes and phone calls from his campaign headquarters, while composing new letters and speeches on his laptop. I really enjoyed that day, watching him in action, constantly 'on the go,' ceaselessly consuming and disseminating new information. His energy seemed boundless. A few hours later we attended a rally, then headed to the airport to see him off. On the way, I spoke of the rules amendment we fought for at the state convention and asked if there was any validity to the argument of efficiency in justifying thresholds. He said there was none.
Never having visited New York, I had arranged a two week stay, with the week preceding the convention reserved for sightseeing. I gradually learned my way around, traveling up and down Manhattan on subways and in taxis, seeing the sites, and experiencing the mood and culture of New York. It's such a great city.
Before long it was time for the convention to convene. The opening ceremonies began with a band playing patriotic fanfare, continued with the Will Roger's Follies, and ended with a talented boy singing "America the Beautiful." Everyone began holding up placards for their favorites. We had heard the Party, under Clinton control, had not yet decided to let Governor Brown speak. I was appalled that they would disallow a candidate, still in the race, his opportunity to address the convention. What an outrage!
Our placards read "Take Back America," the theme we had built our campaign on, "We the People Take Back America." In keeping with Brown's style, the theme and the people took precedence over his own name, written in smaller letters beneath, "Brown for President." He displayed the same humility he asks of others in public office.
Governor Brown asks officials to act as servants of the people. It is easy to believe individuals, whose actions reflect the principles they proclaim to stand by. Believability is the single most important element in a campaign. Only those whose actions are true to their words, can we believe and trust; and only those few should we elect to any public office. As citizens we must be on the lookout for these individuals and do everything within our power to help them win the offices they seek.
On the second day, our collective rage had only grown stronger. It had become common knowledge the Clinton camp was demanding an endorsement from Brown before Wednesday in exchange for allowing him to speak. No candidate is obliged to endorse another. That afternoon Governor Brown thanked us for our commitment. We all cheered him on, proud in the knowledge that he would never give in to their unconscionable demands.
In the morning, I attended a conference, arranged by the Brown camp, to have Ron Brown, Chairman of the Convention, address the Brown supporters. Some individuals, infuriated by the situation, could not resist aiming their anger at Chairman Brown. During that face to face confrontation, he must have realized the convention could rapidly disintegrate into an ugly scene. This was brought home at the convention that afternoon. To publicly display our displeasure, we all chanted "Let Jerry Speak," repeatedly, every time Chairman Brown spoke. This continued throughout the evening. Nothing he said was audibly recognizable. We delivered equal justice.
The platform reports were presented and voted on that day. None of the planks proposed by the Brown camp passed. It seemed an effort in futility, but most definitely worth trying. We decided to put all our effort in pushing for a comprehensive campaign reform package named the Humility Agenda. This one simple plank could have moved mountains in significantly reducing the corruption in our current system.
The Humility Agenda included the elimination of PAC contributions and the creation of term limitations for all presidential and congressional candidates. I do not buy the argument that challengers need special interest money to fight the advantages of incumbency. This was substantiated during the seminar "Grassroots Politics Achieving Success and Change in the 90s and Beyond," presented by the Brown For President Campaign. Senator Paul Wellstone of Minnesota proved he was able to defeat a veteran incumbent with low budget, innovative techniques. If these reforms were put into effect, the 'war chests' on both sides would be greatly reduced, along with the influence of special interests. People who don't support gutsy campaign reform are too ready to give in and give up on fighting corruption.
Tuesday night I received a message from Doug Fox of Channel 8 WFAA TV, the ABC affiliate in Dallas. He told me he would like to do a piece that would give viewers an idea of what it was like to be a national delegate. At breakfast Wednesday, his cameraman placed a small recorder and mike on my waistband and lapel and began filming.
I told Mr. Fox my plans for the day included taking the subway to the Manhattan Center Studios to participate in a workshop sponsored by the Brown campaign. They filmed me walking down the streets of New York to the subway. It was a pretty colorful clip, with a street musician playing a fiddle down in the subway, and cheers from some of the local riders, when they saw my "Brown For President" t-shirt. I was happy to have run into them.
When we arrived at the studio, the cameraman set up for a one on one interview. I explained how Governor Brown inspired me to participate in politics for the first time and described how his determination to fight for democratic principles, through its universal appeal, had amassed a diverse group of supporters from all walks of life. Then, I explained the Humility Agenda and spoke of our effort at the convention as spreading the seeds for a progressive movement within the party, adding that this workshop was designed to help us do that. The workshop, "Learning to Build Community," was about recognizing our responsibility for taking control of our lives and learning the skills and tools necessary to build strong community-based organizations working successfully toward progress. They thanked me and left to go edit the tape for the evening news.
Wednesday, the third day of the convention, was the big day. We heard the nominations and the speeches of the candidates, followed by the roll call vote of the states for the presidential nominee. Governor Brown was allowed to address the convention, but not the nation. Deliberate scheduling kept him off prime time network television.
He spoke of the powerless people on welfare being blamed for our economic crisis by a president, who doesn't give a second thought to welfare payments to the powerful -- corporate bailouts, subsidies, loan guarantees, and tax breaks. He spoke from the heart, saying:
"the future will not be determined in the White House or on Capitol Hill alone, but will be won in every living room, in every company office, in every classroom, in every neighborhood in America. What we need is a common cause to recast the nation's politics...and reclaim our economic future.... Conventions and nominations are...only steps along the way. I intend to fight for this party and its ideals -- tonight, tomorrow, this year, and the years to come...and I want you to join me.... In this spirit no obstacles will stand in our way...victory will be ours."
I enjoyed his fitting quote from Andrew Jackson, "when a democracy is in trouble, the remedy is more democracy." Certainly, if we follow this advice, victory will be ours.
My experience was probably not unlike that of other delegates, but I wanted to share it with those curious about the political process. Governor Brown's leadership has motivated so many of us to move in the right direction. Democracy is not something that can be set in place to exist forever hence. It must be guarded, protected, and fought for endlessly. I hope my own experience will encourage others to listen to their consciences and take a greater responsibility as citizens and protectors of our country's founding principles.¨